Making The Decision To Deal With Your Grief.


The Trick to Healing Grief

When we lose a loved one, we are faced with a monumental decision: How long do we wish to carry the grief around with us?  This decision will directly affect how we experience our life in the coming weeks, months, and even years to come. 

 

The trick to healing grief involves recognizing that there is a profound difference between the grief and the actual event that has happened. Grief is an inner emotion that can be healed, regardless of the external event that has transpired.  Even though losing a loved one is not what you wanted, you can still choose to heal the grief and start feeling lighter again. 

 

When I lost my father to a slow and relentless illness, I recognized that the decision about when to begin healing the grief would dramatically impact my life experience moving forward.  It was an absolutely monumental decision that would affect how I would experience life over the coming years, coloring every area of my life.  Choosing to hold onto grief would mean that my life would be experienced through dark and heavy fog. Even though I would continue to miss my father for the rest of my life, I still had the choice to begin healing the grief.  And although it would not bring my father back, it would begin to clear out all of the dark and heavy clouds that were weighing me down and hiding my joy.

The First Step Back To Feeling Joy Again

If someone wrongfully breaks our nose, we get it fixed in order to get out of pain EVEN though we aren’t happy about what happened.  Similarly, even though we are not “okay” with losing a loved one, we can still choose to heal the grief in order to alleviate our emotional pain.

 

The first step is to recognize that healing grief does not mean that we are letting go of our loved one. Even though we will always miss the person that passed away and will never be “happy” about the situation, we do have the choice to begin healing the grief and clearing out the clouds. This will allow us to feel lighter and happier, and to even begin feeling joy again.

tools to help heal grief

Experiencing Grief

The next step is to realize that emotions cannot hurt us. Regardless of how unpleasant and dark an emotion might appear to be, it’s merely an uncomfortable feeling. The second step is therefore to allowing our emotions to wash over us and letting ourselves experience them.  It is only by experiencing our grief that we can begin to process it and obtain the willingness to let go, just a little bit at a time.   

 

Once we experience the grief and become more willing to let it go, we can start to utilize a tremendous technique that can literally be life changing.  It’s a simple technique that involves writing heartfelt letters to God or a Higher Power, asking to have the grief healed.  These letters are written at night before bedtime, asking to have the grief healed while you sleep. If you do this from the heart and are truly seeking to let go of the grief, the results can be astounding. Each morning, you’ll find that the grief will lighten up and become quieter, as though the volume is being turned down.

Pure Emotional Magic Will Guide You Through The Process

I cannot overemphasize how vital it is for this to be done with a sincere willingness and desire to achieve more inner peace.  You must be more interested in feeling peaceful again than holding on to the grief.

 

This nightly letter writing is a part of the technique that I created called Pure Emotional Magic, which is a book available on Amazon. In my book and blog posts I teach this important emotional healing technique, which can be practiced by anyone.   The only requirement is a true willingness and desire to begin the healing process. 

 

Ultimately, only You can decide the reasons for continuing to carry your grief, and “if” and “when” you begin to put it down.  But when you make the decision to put down your grief, Pure Emotional Magic is a mighty tool that can speed you towards emotional healing, and to ultimately feeling happy again.